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[25 Apr 2005|01:50am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
] |
Today was very interesting. While closing the store with Adam, he asked me if I had any musical talents whether it be playing an instrument, singing, or whatever. And I told him I sing. He he started asking me about it and what I've done. I'm sad to say that I've done nothing. My whole life I've been told I had an awesome voice, but for some reason I can't sing in front of large crowds. I don't know why. I think it'd because I am always striving for approval and I'm too afraid of not getting it. But anyways, I told him I used to sing in church and I took voice lessons for a couple months. So he asked if I wanted to come an sing with his band. At first I wasn't sure what to say, but why not I mean it's not like I know anyone but him so I wouldn't have to see any of them again. And plus they all sing too and according to Adam, the lead in the band sucks and they just want someone new. So who knows. But I told him what happened at school Senior year when I tried to sing the national anthem at a pep assembly. Yeah I was so scared. I need to just get over it. Who cares what other people think. I shouldn't the only people I should want approval from is myself and God. And I know he will always approve of me as long as it's not wrong. We'll see, I want to hear his band before I decide to do anything with him. Until another day, Goodbye.
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[17 Apr 2005|01:26am] |
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My goodness the most crazy thing happened at work on Friday night. I was over at Gamecrazy talking with Nick and this lady walks through Gamecrazy and beeps on her way out. I yell to Nick to get her licence plate because if she beeped, she's not a movie. Well he got it and I called the police, I told them she was stealing movies, but I wasn't sure if they were sell-through or rentals. Well, the odd thing was, the lady just stayed in her car. Well Nick was standing outside and this man walked up to the car and she told him she lost her keys!! How funny is that, well the man walked into Gamecrazy and into Hollywood, and to a man with a little daughter no more than 5. The lady had 2 people watching out for her!! Well they never found the keys and the polive showed up and she tried saying that she didn't take anything and then changed it to her husband took the movies and once I saw her, I knew she was lying. She'd been in the store at least twice before, but I never saw her walk in or else I would have told her she needed to leave that I already called the police. Well, the other two men were long gone and the lady cop brought her up to me and asked if it was her. I said yes and the thief called me a liar! I DO NOT LIE!! So I said "You are a liar, you've been in here before. You are lying!" and then they walked toward the car and the lady pushed the cop and said "you're not arresting me no never!" and then ran. The police tackled her ass!!! HAHAHA. Well we get the movies back and the total amount that would have been taken was $493.91. HOLY COW!! A lot of freaking money in movies. They had 27 movies. The thing that sucked was that if it has been jsut 7 dollars more it was have been grand larseny or how ever you spell it. Crazy crazy crazy. Well yeah that was my very unusual night.
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[12 Apr 2005|03:47am] |
| zannynootnick is angry. | | If you're not careful some delicate part of your circulatory system is going to explode. Take up yoga or something. You're probably making people nervous. | | brought to you by interim32. wanna know your lj's moodring color? enter your user name and hit the button. (discussion thread) |
Hmmm... anyone agree?
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[12 Apr 2005|03:18am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
I'm getting promoted!!! Finally!! I talked with my boss on Friday when we worked together and she said that I work my ass of and that I deserve to be an assistant manager. She also said that she's thought of me as her assistant for a while now!! How awesome is that?!?! I'm so happy. Honestly I'm more excited and happy about the fact that she noticed that I work so hard for that company. It's because I love my job and I really really really wanted to get promoted!!
Today she told me that she talked to my district manager, Sheri about the promotion and said that she was excited to promote me. Apparently Sheri just loves me. She said that it's fun working with her when she comes in to do audits and stuff like that. How cool. I honestly didn't know that she noticed me when she's at my store, but she does!! So Sheri asked when I'll be ready and I'm ready now, I just have one thing to go over with Sara about in the work book. Yeah a work book is kind of lame, but it honestly teaches you a lot. So I go over the book with her and then I get set up for my interview. I'm sure that will go just fine :) I'm so happy.
Today was just a great day. I go into work early after coming from my court date for expired tabs, which they reduced, thank the lord, but there was this guy in line, I thought he looked familiar, and when Kelly went into his account I knew whom it was! It was this customer I had a crush on. He would come in every 4 days, he is SOOOOO hot. He hasn't been in in like 4 or 5 months, a LONG time, but he noticed and recognized me. ME?!?! He asked what happened to me, then said that I probably just changed shifts. Then I asked him where he'd been and he said he was just busy for a while. Before he left, he said that I was like the coolest person that worked at Hollywood Video in Auburn?!?! :) Kari and Tabitha, girls who I worked with both thought that when he came in months ago that he was flirting with me. I know he was today! So cool! But the only thing is, he's 34! 34!?!?! He looks nothing like it at all. He's just gorgeous! He's got the most crystal blue eyes, dirty blond hair, very defined jaw line. Just to die for. Yes indeed, I do believe I'm infatuated with him yet again. I just hope he comes in more often. Ahh so cute!
Well that's all for right now, I'll be back in a few days!
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[12 Apr 2005|03:17am] |
| You scored as Pink. Pink auras mean that you may unwavering in your ideals and goals. Generally will be in a position of power. You are also very modest and unassuming. Negative aspects may be that you are overly willfull and stubborn.
Orange | | 83% | Pink | | 83% | Red | | 83% | Bronze | | 83% | Indigo | | 75% | Yellow | | 75% | Green | | 75% | Silver | | 67% | Blue | | 58% | Violet | | 42% | Gold | | 42% | White | | 42% | </td>
What is your aura color?
created with QuizFarm.com |
Goodness I agree with this. I am indeed stubborn, and I do like to take charge and be in a position of power. this is so me. Yes yes, it's me.
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[29 Mar 2005|08:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 distressed |
] |
My mom got her inheritance money yesterday. $15,789.53!!! So awesome. This is going to help them so much. She's going to give all of us kids some of the money. She's thinking $250, but I've been trying to convince her to give us $500. Who knows. I'm not expecting anything, it's her money. She can do with it what she wants.
Work was not so good today. It wasn't busy, but being new release Tuesday, it kind of sucked. I did almost $800 on my till and did not sell 1 bundle!! NOT FAIR!! But then I found out that our bundles weren't working so that had a lot to do with it. But ahhhh. i'm going to have to work twice as hard on selling for the rest of the week because of today. All the old people came in and didn't want the bundle deal because they're old!! But oh well it's life. I've been having so much fun at work. I've learned 2 new things already. I'm excited. Our numbers are good so far, but it's only days into the week.
I've been summoned for jury duty!! YUCK! I don't want to go because I don't think my work pays for me to be on the jury. I can't afford only $10 a day that the court pays you. Sara told me to tell them that I'm racists. I would never ever do that. I just have to tell them that it's a hardship for me to work because me work doesn't pay for me to be on the jury. Oh and it doesn't help that it's in Seattle and I'm not driving to Seattle and paying to park and I am not going to take the bus by myself from Covington. It's not going to work. But I've voice mailed my district manager and asked her what would happen if someone got jury duty and couldn't work or if they pay for us to be on it, which I'm sure they don't because Hollywood Video doesn't care unless you are an assistant or a store director. But we'll see maybe I'm completely wrong.
Yeah I don't know. sometimes I just wonder about things. I've been going to weight watchers trying to help myself and it's been hard. I live with someone who thinks that if I don't eat at all, I can't do anything but lose weight. I am not going to do that. It seems like every day I hear something about it. I cannot do this if he is like that. It is not helping me at all. I am doing this for me, not anyone but me. I will go at my rate not someone else's. It's just been hard. I talked with my grandma about this, but she's almost blind to it. When my mom and her sisters were young they all had an eating disorder. I have realized that it had to do with my grandpa. They were never over weight ever. They are so small. All of them. It's hard to think that he's doing what he's doing to me, to them 25 years ago. I told my grandma this and she thinks he didn't have anything to do with my mom and her sisters having eating disorders. She said it has to do with their friends. I was shocked. She's always he person to see everything for how it is, but yet so naive when it comes to her children and her husband. And he's doign it to me and she doesn't see it. I don't know how much longer I can live her like this. The way that I am, I will rebel. I will not do something to please someone else. I will never do that. The only people I want to please is myself and God. I know that isn't right, but that is how I think. So many people prey on making other people do things they want. I won't be like that.
AHH my phone is ringing. Bye for now
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| Hmmm.... |
[20 Mar 2005|02:14pm] |
I've decided to start writing in this again. I think it's better then a piece of paper, plus it's just easier than writing. My boss is on vacation and I'm in charge of the store. I really hope this helps me to get promoted. I will go to another store, or district to get it. I feel that I am deserving of the assistant manager position. I work my but off. I know they tried to get me moved to another store earlier, but it didn't go so good. I guess my fault. I just know I can do the job and so does my boss Sara. Sure I have a lot of growing to do, but everyone does. No one is perfect. I mean one day I called an employee, a shift lead in fact, same position as myself and asked why the til she counted was almost 5 dollars short. It turned out that I was wrong and didn't count it right. She told my boss and she asked me why I called her on her day off. Well HELLO it's a money issue. Money is something you should call about immediately. Then she asked if she set a bad example by calling me out. I told her no, but that's not true. She calls me all the time. The computer's not working she calls to get mad at me because apparently I'm the one that's expected to do this even though I am the same positions and she expects the same from the other shift leads. She then tried to get me to come in and take a shift one day. Normally I would love to come in but I wanted to go to me mom's that night. I hadn't seen her in a while. So she called back asking why this and why that and maybe she shouldn't rely on me so much! I was angry. I am not an assistant yet I feel that I am depended on like one. It's just confusing. I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. Eh.
Well today is Easter. It was nice. We all went to my aunt Leah's house. I actually talked with my cousin Stephanie. I never really liked her, but I liked talking with her. I never knew how much she is like me. Right know she's going through a lot of hard things. Her friends are starting to party more and she doesn't want anything to do with that. She just broke up with her boyfriend and I'm sure that's hard. I dunno it was nice. I think maybe I'll try and make some plans with her to go the movies or shopping something. Who knows.
Well that's it for now. I know I'll be back :)
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| Opinions are needed! |
[20 May 2004|11:46pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
] |
My goodness. I do believe this guy at work likes me. He's a vendor. Alright y'all tell me if you think he likes me from this bit of information. Ok, I don't do the upstairs vending room anymore and he keeps telling me everyday that I need to be the one up there. I told Rachelle, the girl that does it now and so asked him about that and he said "Well it's true, I like Alex more" and this is like everyday! On tuesday he wore this light blue floppy bucket hat that they were giving away at the door and Bobby and I passed him I grabbed his arm and said "OHH sexy" in a joking voice and he giggled. Then later that night while I was checking stands out he walked by and said bye to me and Emily started to laugh at him because of the hat so I said "What? I think it's cute" I turned my attention to the stands and he was like caressing my arm until I looked at him and he said " Well, I think you're cute too" I laughed at him. I said "Yeah right, no you don't" Then we said by and he left. Then today, I heard that he was dating this girl that works at the barbecue place and that girl likes to just suck people's toes. So yea, I was a little angry, I didn't believe it so I asked him about it. I saw him walking and he was almost done with his tray so I walked up to him he put his arm around my shoulder and I asked him. He said that they were just friends and if anyone asks I should tell that they were friends and that "we were going out" OMG how obvious is that?!?!?! But still I can't say anything to him because I just know that it will all be a joke and in the end he was just messing around with me. So yeah I am just not going to say anything to him about that. He's a man if he really likes me then he'll ask me out. So what do you think? Does he like me? Well I'm out. I need to sleep. Bye for now.
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| PEOPLE SUCK! |
[22 Apr 2004|12:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
Today was horrible. I just can't deal with life. I can't deal with anything. People not understanding what it means to get promoted and how it works. ARGHH it just causes problems. Today I got a talk from my boss. People meaning the stand workers are telling her that I think I'm the assistant manager, Erin. She is currently not working because she goes to work, so I am a supervisor. People think that because she's not here and I am, so I took her job. NO it doesn't work like that. There is another supervisor named Emily, she would be the one to have Erin's job because she's been here longer than I have. MAN! People are so stupid. I have people ask me oh so you're a supervisor because Erin isn't here, well it's yes and no. So people assume that I took Erin's job and they freak out and tell my boss and she gives me a "talk" about how I'm not Erin. YES I KNOW THAT!!! I NEVER SAID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
We talk about a few other things such as the fact that people think I'm on a power trip, well let's see the people whom are new have never worked with me before and the people who have been there before have known that I've been a supervisor for about seven months now. Why would I choose now to change? I am just so sick and tired of people. Forget trying to make friends and talking with my co-workers, it's just impossible. Well, I talk to the person I work with the most Bobby. I tell him what Natalie told me and he's so surprised. I'm always with him. There is rarely anytime out of the day I'm at Safeco that I'm not walking around with him. So he's confused as well.
I just don't know. I am so stressed out right now. I've worked 23 days in a row. More than most people I know would ever work at one time. I have no time to myself. I ask myself why I do this and I never have an answer. I don't know what to do. I have no answers. I can't just quit one job and keep the other, but I can't go working every single day of the month with maybe just MAYBE 3 days off. It's not normal, but then again I'm not normal.
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| ARGHH |
[20 Apr 2004|02:37am] |
Why is it that people always seem to surprise you? You're happy with the way things are going and then "it" happens. The inevitable words. No guy is perfect. Nope. There is this really cool guy at work, he is one of those people who do the complimentary hat, shirt, whatever is happens to be. Well, he's just awesome, well.. was at least. I've been talking to him every game and I talked to him last season too, well, he's a very flirtatious guy and I've grown this little crush and today! DAMN TODAY!! I find him downstairs and I tell him that I'm going to blow the picture I took of him up and he said he doesn't remember me taking a picture, so I told him what he was doing in the picture and still didn't remember. So he says, oh well, I was high that day. WHAT?!?!?!?!? WHY IS IT THAT EVERY GUY WHO'S CUTE DO THAT?!?! All the like and everything just went away, SUCH a big turn off. Eh, well he'd never date a girl like me. He'd too cute. But what a disappointment. I guess there are other guys... oh yes there are, one other guy... he truly is perfect, of what I know he's perfect, but I', sure that'll change, it always does. Until next time
~ME
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[28 Mar 2004|05:26am] |
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My cat is gone. She's just gone. She got out Saturday the 20th and I've not seen her at all. I'm sure she got out when Ann and I ordered pizza. Every day I've called her when I get up and before I go to bed and everytime I go outside. But, she's not there. Today I'm going to my parents house to make this flyer thing and I'm going to put it on every door in my apartments and every door within 2 blocks. I know she wouldn't stay away this long, she loves us too much. My mom thinks someone might have stolen her, which that's what I'm thinking too. As I sit here and write this I cry. She's my cat not someone elses. My FIRST cat that was actually mine and really loved me. I was so good to her. I bought her the expensive food and the expensive cat liter adn then she slips out and is gone. Forever. I feel it in my heart. Three days into her missing, I just had this feeling that she wasn't here and not coming back. But, I just can't except that. I always said that when something happens it was meant to be. When George died, it was meant to be, when I lose contact with people, it's meant to be, but not this. It can't be. I won't let it. Xela was my child, every night when I would get home from work even before I unlocked the door she'd be standing there so she could go sleep with me. And now, I lay awake staring out my window into the hall of my apartment hoping that maybe, just maybe she's perk her head around the corner and she'll be home. Every night I pray.
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| FINALLY!! |
[24 Feb 2004|08:32am] |
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i'm all settled in and I have internet now. It's a high speed dial up, but so much slower than what I'm used to. But, I can't afford dsl or cable. Who cares? I have internet, that's all I care about. Oh and if anyone is wanting to reach me at all my new numbers are cell: 206-349-1019 and home: 253-931-1362. Well that's all I have to say right now. Yep, if anyone wants to see my place just call me.
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[21 Jan 2004|06:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hyper |
] |
Oh goodness... 10 days until I sign my lease. It's only for a year, but man I'm just thinking, 'what would happen if i got fired?' that's just a little scary thinking about that. It's so a job to pack all of your stuff, I've never done it before and right now I'm a little stuck on what to pack next! Grr!! Oh yeah I got a new cell phone.. it' so perdy.. yep yep. I've wanted this one for quite some time now. I was at Walmart with Alex and I just stopped at the T-mobile booth and I asked about prices and looked over some of the plans and the lady told me that if I signed up today that she'd give me a phone for free so that's awesome, but then she told me that she only had one of the Nokia 3595's left... so it was fate! YAH BABY! but anyways so I just had to get it. I am so dumb, I ordered new checks because I switched banks and I realized that I'm moving.. STUPID ME!! grr... See but then I'm smart again because I can get address labels and just cover the address on the checks with address labels. There's always a solution for every problem. 10 days... oh my word it's so close... hehe I'm excited. Oh I get to close with my boss tomorrow. I haven't really got to work with her before it will be interesting. I'll bet it's like a grading thing. I've been closing for some time now, and every week she closes at least once, but I've yet to close with her... hmm maybe Jordan said I was doing bad. Nah, he told out district manager that I was 'doing an awesome job' YAY FOR ME! Well enough rambling I haven't went to sleep yet.. don't think I will.
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| YESSSSSSSSSSSS |
[13 Jan 2004|03:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mmm bop.. don't ask. |
] |
I am FINALLY moving out. 3 weeks my roommate put the down payment on the apartment yesterday. I'm so excited. Its a three bedroom with all new appliances. It's great! My grandpa is giving us some furniture and anything else we need. I only have to pay 300 a month plus my food. It's SO GREAT! We get the month of February free too! Oh the only thing that sucks is that the pet deposit is $500, but the manager will let me make payments. I'm so excited, I really am. Oh and so many people want to help me move it's so awesome.. but it's too bad i'm moving all the way to Auburn though. But I have my job there so it's not that bad. Well yeah I thought I'd share my happiness with anyone who reads this!
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| TO ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME! |
[27 Dec 2003|03:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
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irritated |
] |
WTF! I bought 2 previously viewed movies from my work christmas night, and I was told a while back from Christina, the assistant manager that you're only supposed to either do the 2 for $20 or 20% off not both together, well the guy who rang my movies up didn't know that. I didn't know he had given them to me for 8 bucks each rather than 10 because i had money on a gift card, so I had no clue. Well anyways I get back to Roxanne's house and I can't remember why, but I look at my receipt, and I noticed then that he had given them to me for cheaper than he was supposed to, so I told Christina what happened and she told me to tell Sara, my boss. Everything worked out fine, I offered to return the movies and pay full price, but she said it was fine. So I get home and tell my father what happened, he didn't even let me finish before he started out with "well you better tell your boss it sounds like you're trying to get away with only paying 8" So I told him that I told her what happened. Oh but no he still thinks that I did something wrong and that even though I told him I even offered to return the movies and pay full price for them that "it's going to cost me my job" yeah right! Ok first of all he didn't even freaking let me tell the whole situation and the fact that Sara TOLD ME that I didn't need to return and then do it again means that I DID NOTHING WRONG! Yeah so I told him that I didn't do anything wrong. so he responded with "you're 18 and you think you know all the answers" WTF!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell does that have to do with ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!! so he thinks that I purposely had him ring them up for 8 and not 10... ok here's where the people who KNOW me come in. Would I EVER do something like that? Am I the type of person to lie? Am I completely dishonest? well what do y'all think. Anyways I told him that he OBVIOUSLY doesn't know me AT ALL and he then gave more bs about thinking I know everything. Ok yeah tell me this, if I was out to just get everything for cheap and was such a liar and so dishonest, would I fucking be a supervisor for a company? I told him to ask anyone who knew me, call Natalie, call Christina and ask her what happened, call Keith, the guy who rang them up wrong.... ASK ANYONE WHO KNOWS THE TYPE OF PERSON I AM! I HATE when people accuse me of lying or being dishonest, I'm too afraid of getting caught to do anything and plus I think is it COMPLETELY wrong to steal or lie about anything... so FUCK my father... he thinks he knows oh so much about me... yeah fucking right.
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| YES!!!!!!!!! |
[16 Dec 2003|04:56pm] |
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I GOT THE JOB!!!! FINALLY a new job. I only get paid 7.01 an hour, but I really don't care, it's a job, one I needed. WOO HOO for me. Yeah I start tomorrow. I work 11-2 then I have to work at Key Arena. Man I work tomorrow, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and I'm not sure from then on. I talked to my friend who is the assistant manager at Hollywood video and she said that she thinks that Sara, the manager is going to have me work on Christmas, yeah it kind of sucks, but you do what you have to do. Plus I need the money. So yeah I'm excited! YAY for me!
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| *smile* |
[14 Dec 2003|06:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
Pictures of my baby, Xela... she's a little monster. Although I've decided that she's more like a bum than a cat, I mean she sleeps under trees, in cardboard boxed and on newspaper. Normal cats will sleep on pillows, anything with a cushion, but not Xela, or as my family calls her Damn Baby. Stupid name... yeah she IS a damn baby, but her name is Xela.
Wanna see the Pictures?
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[12 Dec 2003|12:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
Oh the joys of not having money. I went to an interview at Hollywood Video today, apparently I did great, so I'm getting called back for a second interview with the assistant manager of the district. I know I have the job, Sara, the manager of the store I want to work at just loves me. I know this because my friend is the assistant manager of the store, so she was in there for the interview too. So YAY! for me.
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| WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?! |
[09 Dec 2003|02:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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surprised |
] |
Aryan Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
UMM YEAH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My word, I love Jewish people... I really do. Yeah so I'm obsessed with the holocaust, doesn't mean that I hate Jewish people. Yeah I get so excited when I meet a Jewish person... just thinking about that just makes me smile... hehe so what I'm strange.
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| Grrr... |
[02 Dec 2003|12:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
I JUST FELL DOWN MY STINKING STAIRS!!! All the freaking clothes that people just throw down from the banister, well gee... maybe they should walk their butts down and put them in the laundry room... that's why it's there. Yeah and we don't have a guard rail, my dad took it down some years ago, had that been there, I wouldn't have fallen so far because I grabbed for it... weird how this instint thing kicks in. Eh oh well... just a few bruises, nothing's broken THANK GOD!
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| SNOW!! |
[21 Nov 2003|12:31am] |
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IT'S SNOWING!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!! This is like totally awesome. I am so going to play in the snow tomorrow, oh yeah! I didn't get to play the last two years :( But, this year OH YEAH I'M PLAYING IN THE SNOW!!
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| life sucks... |
[19 Nov 2003|09:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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frustrated |
] |
I'm just now realizing the hole that I have dug for myself and can't get out. I have a car payment due November 26, a credit card bill due December 2, renewing my car tabs... everything. It's just too much. I was told by my boss that I would get hours that I am not receiving, I've applied at numerous places, only to find myself back at square one again. I just can't win. You'd think I'd be used to it by now... nope, not quite. I have an offer to move out in February, boy does that offer sound nice... I'm planning on accepting it. I just don't know what I can do.
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| sleep... |
[16 Nov 2003|06:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
28 hours, no sleep. What have I come to. This is truely a problem. I've only done this one other time in my life, back in 10th grade, ask me why, I really couldn't tell you. All I know is that I'm counting the seconds til I can FINALY sleep... it will be heaven.
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| hmm... |
[16 Nov 2003|04:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
I've thought all to long about what it would be like to see blooding running from my arms like the tears from my eyes again. It would be a great way to sleep. Sleep forever... how nice that would be.
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| grr sleep grrr |
[16 Nov 2003|04:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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pissed off |
] |
If I killed myself, would anyone cry? Would you mourn maybe?
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| Yes, I'm still up... |
[16 Nov 2003|04:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 relieved |
] |
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Ok not lately, just in the last hour. Well I’ve decided that the way that I have treated certain people really wasn’t right. Mainly wyr. Yes Alex, wyr. I am claiming to revoke all of my rudeness towards him. I mean I was seriously nasty to him yet, when I couldn’t sleep tonight he still talked to me. I mean he told me this really nice story. It goes like this….
A young, new preacher was walking with an older, more seasoned preacher in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice. The older preacher walked up to a rose bush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing any of the petals.
The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry. But, because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try and unfold the rosebud while keeping every petal intact...
It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the young preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite a poem to the younger man.
It is only a tiny rosebud
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so sweetly,
Then, in my hands, they die...
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
The flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So, I'll trust in Him for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the Pilgrim's way.
The pathway that lies before me
Only my Heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.
And that’s the end of the story. It was really nice, and his efforts, sorry to say didn’t help my sleep, but we just started talking, and I’ve realized that there really wasn’t a source for all of this anger. I mean yes, it was completely uncalled for suggesting that Alex should dress up at lady Gediva… eh however you spell it, but he wasn’t meaning it in a rude way. He wasn’t meaning for it to arouse such madness. And I feel bad… yes I, the all mighty queen of being rude, feels bad. Everyone has feelings and so purposely being mean to someone because they like you or because you were angry about one thing for one second isn’t grounds to completely rain your wrath upon them. So yes I am renouncing my grudge against Nick. I have no grounds for it, and Alex, if you want to continue to be mean to him then you go ahead, I can’t change how you feel, but just think of how it would feel if it was you being yelled at and your feelings being tossed around and stomped on like it was a diseased hot potato *yes lame I know* Just think of that. Think of how it felt to have Jeff completely throw you out of his life, it didn’t feel good did it? I imagine that’s probably what wyr feels like. But yes, I’m done for now…. If anyone chooses to comment, please do… just know that I said that I said and that’s final.
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| *sigh* |
[16 Nov 2003|03:10am] |
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Of course I can't sleep. When I have to sleep I CAN'T. This is just so not fair. I have to work tomorrow!!! At 10!! Gee it's 3:11... hmm yeah I'm so not tired. I've been lying in my bed for 4 hours count them 4 hours!!! NOT FAIR!!!
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| Man oh man.. |
[16 Nov 2003|12:17am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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"Rock a bye Baby" or whatever the hell will get me to sleep. |
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I sure am in for the time of my life... all these html codes... I have NO clue what to do. I followed everything one of them said and of course since I'm cursed in all, it doesn't work, come to find out that they will only work if I don't put them in a row! Talk about sucking! Not fair. Well it took me forever to find the code I wanted in the first place. And now that I have it... TO HELL WITH IT!!!! But anyways I have to work tomorrow at good ole 10, which means i have to leave at like 9 and have to be up at 8... grrr. Oh well I wanted to start getting up early, but yeah I'm going to sleep now. Sweet dreams everyone.
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| I am such a loser... |
[14 Nov 2003|12:23am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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I always seem to get addicted to the STUPIDEST games. Lemonade Tycoon... come on... you run this lemonade stand and after a while there isn't anything left to accomplish, so you just earn money, more and more money... I'm such a loser. Really I am...
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zannynootnick's journal